Archive for September, 2008
September 24, 2008 at 7:30 pm
· Filed under Work Fun ·Tagged coworker, fun, Magic, magician, office, work
Conversation from Monday on my cell phone:
me: hello? (innocently), (okay I knew it was my brother because I have assigned him a ring tone - ”Don’t Turn out the Lights” from Enrique Iglesias, yes strange choice I agree, it has to do with a joke, a hockey game, too many drinks, the casino and Rosa Park’s funeral…….I told you it is crazy, you would never understand).
brother: I read your blog.
me: yes…. (waiting).
brother: first- you are a good writer (I am totally smiling at this point but still waiting), second – you know I just can’t sit around all day eating popcorn watching magic shows, that guy does not contribute, we have to pick up the slack.
me: yeah, but that is not funny…I focused on the funny.
brother: It is really annoying, he even has a magic briefcase circa 1970 and a spare one at home.
me: Shut Up! A magic briefcase, wait…..two magic briefcases? Why could you have not told me that part before, I could have really used that information.
brother: ugh, just forget it!
Again…….lucky and if I may say so, FUNNY!
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September 18, 2008 at 6:30 am
· Filed under Work Fun ·Tagged coworker, fun, Magic, magician, office, quarter, slacker, smiles, view, work
During the morning commute my brother and I often find time to chat with each other using our cell phones. This is the perfect time of day to connect before all the craziness begins and we lose another weekend, week or month of seeing each other and him learning about his nephews. This morning we were chatting about coworkers and he began to tell me of his office and the usual slackers, go-getters, snackers and downers. I listened to his conversation and commiserated with him on the usual and then he sparked my interest, only he was still complaining. My brother actually has a magician in the office next to him. A real live Las Vegas wannabe, entertaining, smiles on your faces….magician. His complaints – the guy does magic all day and if he is not practicing his craft he is talking about it. My thoughts quickly focused on the benefits….having a bad day “Pick a Card”, forgot change for the vending machine “Get a quarter pulled from your ear”, as an adult I know this would not fly on a regular basis *spoiler* the quarter came from the magician, still the possiblities for fun seem almost endless. Okay so the guy does not contribute to the work day after all my brother does not work at a magic shop, I get that, but still isn’t he better than a snacker who leaves wrappers and a mess around and is constantly grumbling with his mouth full or asking what everyone is getting for lunch at 9:00am? Instead he gets a magician, all that I have is two empty offices and no view. Some people are luckier than they know.
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September 12, 2008 at 7:30 am
· Filed under Random Thoughts ·Tagged bag, box, containers, environment, glad, instructions, lid, open, Package, plastic, rip, ruin, snacks, stale, tear, tupperware
My husband likes to make fun of me and basically ban me from opening any form of box, bag, pouch, envelope, packaging etc. It is not my fault that I have trouble opening things neatly. Lets just say I get excited to see the inside or I am frustrated with poor opening instructions. Whatever the case I have been the cause of several cereals and snacks to stale rather quickly and I have also destroyed instructions and packaging material. As we were cleaning out the cupboards recently my husband felt the need to show me every gaping hole and ripped up item we had held onto imagining that the insides would some how still be good. I am not sure how this even happens, I have been covered in coffee grounds, thrown combos all over a car, had barbeque skewers flying in the air narrowly missing guests, like a jungle native with spears, and been forced to administer immediate first aid to myself for bloody and gushing paper or cardboard cuts (more like savage slices) on several occasions, it is just who I am.
Why do we not put the items in some form of Tupperware, gladware or other handy reusable container? If you are ever at my house just look in the area that I have assigned to these environment friendly items and you will realize it is a ”DO NOT” go there zone. Just trying to match a lid to a bottom is so frustrating that I feel the need for a stiff drink after the stress of it all and have decided to forgo this punishment whenever possible. Don’t even think of suggesting the spinning wheel of lids and bottoms neatly secure and organized, they do not work well and never fit right causing me to throw them in with the others, sort of like a black hole for plastics! I will just stick to the things I am good at and concentrate on opening single serve packages to cut down on the destruction.
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September 10, 2008 at 7:41 pm
· Filed under Random Thoughts ·Tagged car, drive, driving, lane, road rage, turn, turn signals, vehicle
Just some random thoughts on my driving experiences:
1. If you and I are both turning and I am on the inside with four lanes to turn in to, I get the two closest to me. Do not get pissed if I cut you off, you chose the outside lane.
2. If you are trying to exit an establishment and you do not have a blinker on, I will assume you are undecided on the direction you wish to go and will therefore not bother letting you out and holding up existing traffic.
3. Just because someone is on a cell phone does not mean they are a bad driver. (okay, that was in defense of myself and yes maybe it does make me less alert).
4. When my husband drives he believes we are all in some race and every vehicle is out to get us and that he must be as aggressive as possible. I often feel tense and angry after these drives.
5. Turn signals – they are not an option on a vehicle. If you do not alert me that you are changing lanes or turning, I may end up smashing in to you and you would probably deserve it.
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September 10, 2008 at 6:32 pm
· Filed under Random Thoughts, Work Fun ·Tagged car, coworker, fast, hug, speed, super, trip, work
As I walk around my office building I am usually in one mode, quick. I am not in a hurry or trying to get something done, I just move through doorways and take corners fast. With my superhuman speed (seriously not true) I have been known to bounce into, trip and even sadly almost hug coworkers, as to the last…so awkward! Just imagine stunned faces wondering at my new form of affection as instead of almost trampling the unsuspecting hall walker my torso pitches forward and my arms come up in a wide, I am about to embrace you style (in the past I must have either brushed breasts by accident or I have a body that reacts freakishly, probably the latter). I have now taken to enhancing my new power – listening! I pause and try to hear if movement is occurring in the vicinity of my next step. Boring I know, but now I can smile and joke about blind spots with the rest of the crowd – think futuristic “Bruce Willis” type movie with cars flying everywhere, I don’t know why but that is how I picture it (again freakish).
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September 9, 2008 at 8:00 am
· Filed under Parent Stuff, Random Thoughts ·Tagged babies, Baby, boy, clothing, crazy, fashion, heels, jeans, multiples, shoes
I went through a period where I would suffer for the sake of looking good, at least from the knee down. I would wear high heels, stumble around all day then moan and complain to my husband all night. Along came my bouncing baby boys and that has all changed. I am now in the market for a pair of jeans with just the right length for comfortable shoes (ugh, sooo boring!). Just imagine me trying to pull off a gorgeous pair of high heeled shoes with a baby (or two) in my arms that likes to jerk in every direction throwing him and me off balance, I get nervous just thinking about the disaster possibilities waiting to happen. I am 5′5″ and guess what, I have to buy the “short” or “petite” jeans to pull off this new “mom” look. When did all jeans become so long that you have to be on stilts to wear them? I understand the long lean effect but really… an extra foot on the end is crazy!
I did find the jeans I was looking for and they survived the first wash and yes they are petite. I happily pulled on my jeans today and was jumping around (see note below) with the sweet victory of success, no flood jokes for me, the length is perfect!
Note: I am not afraid to jump around or break into a dance at any moment, just ask the cashier at Babies R Us last night when my coupon saved me $20.00, she saw the dance and I am proud of it.
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