Archive for February, 2009

That Dosen’t Smell Like Breadsticks?

February 27, 2009 at 4:09 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , ,

As I have mentioned before I am the proud owner of a Jeep Commander  who is now being forced to drive my husband’s minivan so he can have my car for awhile (it is a miles thing).  Anyways, as the mother of twins I finally had the chance to get out and do some shopping on my own while my husband was at home with the boys.  I happily jumped into my Jeep.  As I began to drive around I started to smell something unpleasant and as I got in and out of the vehicle for several stops the smell only got worse.  My husband called to see how my day was going and I immediately asked him what he did to my Jeep, “I had breadsticks in there yesterday on my lunch break” he replied.  Breadsticks?  Okay they can smell like sweaty gym socks but this was more like a puke with beer breath with somthing else mixed in scent that I could not put a finger on and as the car got warmer the smell intensified.  I kept the windows cracked at a tolerable level due to the winter weather and continued on my way. 

About two weeks later as I was running around my front lawn in the wind trying to catch blow away boxes from my garbage that had not yet been picked up, I suddenly slid through a pile of bait fish near the curb.  First thought…Why Me?  Second thought….I am going to kill him.  Yes you heard that right, my husband had been ice fishing and forgot to remove these leftovers from the car.  I even recall mentioning something sliding around in the back of the Jeep and my husband saying during that phone call that it was his ice fishing sled.   Hmmm…..that explains the mysterious scent.  Now I have seen this pile of fish before (although last time I was spared from having to smell them for a day) and as I told my husband then and will again, the cats in the neighborhood ignore his offering and a week later I have to send him out with a bag and gloves to remove his dead friends from our yard.  What must the neighbors think?

Ice Fishing-Perch caught by my friend Russell

Ice Fishing-Perch caught by my friend Russell

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If Only They Were Diamonds!

February 6, 2009 at 11:30 am · Filed under Parent Stuff ·Tagged , , , , , ,

This is a story that goes back to the beginning of my parent adventures, in fact I don’t know how I let this one slip by. 

With twins and every new parents obsession with poop and pee we had a chart set up for feedings (how many ounces), was there pee or poop, time of last change, etc.  In the beginning you are supposed to keep track of this stuff and with twins a chart seemed like a great idea, we were zombies in those first few weeks.  We used this method for about a month before we realized we were capable of identifying anything strange and that we were not going to starve anyone. 

Here comes the good part…..one of my sons did not poop for about a day and we were on the lookout for that special package.  My husband took the morning changing and feeding on this day and when I asked if there was anything in the diaper his response was some what out of the ordinary…

Husband:”Yes, there was poop but it was strange looking”.

Me: “Strange? In what way?”

Husband: “There was poop but it was all mixed in with crystals that were white, it looked like a snow cone”

Me: “What the heck is that about?”

Okay snow cone poop, obviously even those of you that are not parents or have not experienced this strange obsession with body fluids have to realize this is not normal.  Immediately I started rationalizing what that would look  like, what did the twins consume, and how long would it take me to get to the ER?  I immediately went to the diaper pail to examine the evidence.   Not as easy as it sounds as I had to view a few diapers that were not the one in question and no….that is not a fun job.  Eventually I pulled the lucky ticket and opened the diaper and my god it was snow cone poop!  My heart started pounding, I thought back to the parent books and could not recall any mention of this miracle in any of the paragraphs.  Finally my reasonable self took over as I realized along with the poop there was a massive amount of pee that had expanded the diaper,  further inspection (diaper Sherlock) revealed a tear a long the side which when combined had resulted in those magic soaking crystals working  their way out.    Whew…..that would have been a fun trip to the ER with yet another embarrassing first parent blunder, thank goodness we avoided that one!

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